Keep a conversation going and check

A real conversation lives on short replies: "really?", "is that so?", "me too", "isn't it?". Many languages use a few fixed words for them — French n'est-ce pas ?, German oder?, Spanish ¿verdad?. English builds them from one material — the auxiliary verb of the sentence you are answering. It is repeated like an echo: in a question tag, in an echo question, in "me too". So the first step is always the same: find this verb.

Where to get the auxiliary verb. If the sentence has be, have (in the perfect), can, will or another modal verb, that verb is the echo. If not — in the Present Simple and the Past Simple — do, does or did takes its place, as in an ordinary question.

The question tag. A statement, a comma and a short question — "…, right?". The tag is the opposite of the sentence: after a positive statement it is negative, after a negative one it is positive. The tag has only the auxiliary verb and a pronoun.

Special cases. The tag for I am is aren't I: I'm late, aren't I? The words never, hardly, nobody are already negative (B1 #12), so the tag after them is positive: You've never been to Wales, have you? After Let's… the tag is shall we: Let's have a break, shall we?

The intonation decides whether you are asking or not. If the voice falls on the tag ↘, you are sure and wait for agreement: Lovely day, isn't it? This is how people most often start a conversation with a stranger. If the voice rises ↗, you really don't know and are asking: You're from Leeds, aren't you? — "…or am I wrong?".

The short answer. A tag, and any yes/no question, is answered with the same echo: — You're from Leeds, aren't you? — Yes, I am. / No, I'm not. I'm from York. A bare Yes or No sounds cold.

The echo question — "Really?". The auxiliary verb and a pronoun, positive or negative like the other person's sentence, and a rise in the voice. This shows interest or surprise and asks the person to tell you more:

To check a detail you didn't hear, put did you say into an ordinary question: Sorry, where did you say she works? Or more simply: Sorry, what did you say?, Sorry, could you say that again?

So do I and Neither do I — "me too" and "me neither". So + auxiliary verb + subject agrees with a positive statement. Neither + auxiliary verb + subject agrees with a negative one. The order is inverted, as in a question.

The verb is taken from the other person's sentence — the same verb in the same tense. After Neither it is positive: the negative is already in neither, as in neither … nor (B1 #6). Nor do I means the same as Neither do I, and in British English it is very common. The subject can be anything: — Anna likes jazz. — So does her husband.

In conversation it is simpler: Me too instead of So do I and Me neither instead of Neither do I. These forms never change, but they sound more casual; in writing and in formal speech you need the full form.

To disagree — the same echo, without so and neither, with the stress on the pronoun: — I love winter. — Oh, I don't. — I can't stand jazz. — Really? I can. — I've never been to Paris. — I have.

A negative question shows surprise or expects agreement: Isn't it beautiful? — you're sure the other person thinks so too; Didn't you get my message? — you're surprised: you thought the message had arrived; Haven't we met before? — you think you have met.

The answer follows the facts, not the form of the question. You got the message — Yes, I did. You didn't — No, I didn't. A tag after a negative is answered the same way: — You didn't call him, did you? — No, I didn't. (you didn't call). Yes always goes with a positive verb, No with a negative one.

Compare:

Don't say this. ✗ I'm late, amn't I? → ✓ I'm late, aren't I? There is no form amn't in standard English.

Check yourself. What is the tag for She's never been here? How do you agree with I can't sleep in hot weather? You got the email; what do you answer to Didn't you get my email?