Ask someone else — or do it yourself

Many languages express a wish about another person with a whole clause: French je veux que tu m'appelles, Spanish quiero que me llames, German ich will, dass du mich anrufst — "I want that you call me". In English there is no such clause after want. Instead you use the person and to + verb: I want you to call me. You know this pattern from reported speech: asked me to wait (B1 #15), advised me to rest (B1 #16). Here verbs of wishing and expecting join it.

I want you to: verb + person + to + verb.

After the verb comes the object form of the pronoun: me, you, him, her, us, them. The negative usually goes with want: I don't want you to go sounds more natural than I want you not to go. Would you like me to…? is a polite offer of help, next to Shall I…? (A2 #12).

Force, allow, help: make, let, help. After make and let the verb comes without to, as after a modal verb. After help — as you like: with to or without.

make means to force someone, with power or by the situation; a thing can make you do something too: a film, the weather, noise. let means to allow, not to stop someone. You know it from Let's (A1 #16): Let's go is let us go, "allow us to go".

get + person + to — persuade, manage to make someone do something. A very common form in British conversation: I'll get Tom to fix it. — I'll ask Tom, and he'll fix it. I couldn't get him to listen. — I tried, but he didn't listen. Unlike make, get has to.

Compare — the same meanings, but a different form:

In the passive make gets a to: We were made to wait for an hour. — someone forced us to wait an hour. let has no passive; instead you use be allowed to from B1 #11: We were allowed to leave early. — someone gave us permission to leave early. So you get a pair: They let us leave early — We were allowed to leave early.

Reflexive pronouns — the action comes back to the doer, or "personally, nobody else".

They have three jobs.

The action is directed at yourself: I cut myself. — the knife cut my own finger. Did you hurt yourself? — are you hurt? She taught herself Italian. — she learnt Italian with no teacher. And two polite formulas: Help yourself! — please take some, you don't need to ask; Enjoy yourselves! — have a good time, all of you!

"Personally, not someone else" — for emphasis, at the end of the sentence or right after the noun: I'll do it myself. — I'll do it, not you. Did you make this cake yourself? The town itself is small, but the beaches are beautiful. — the town is small; the beaches are a different story.

by myself means "alone, with nobody else; without help": I live by myself. — nobody lives with me. She built the website by herself. on my own means the same: I did it on my own.

Many verbs that are reflexive in other languages have no pronoun in English. French se laver, s'habiller, se détendre, se sentir, se dépêcher, German sich waschen, sich anziehen, sich beeilen, Spanish lavarse, vestirse, preocuparse — in English these are wash, get dressed, relax, feel, worry, meet, hurry, with no myself. You use myself only when the action really is directed at yourself and this matters: I cut myself, but I washed and got dressed.

Don't say this. ✗ I want he to come → ✓ I want him to come. After want — the object form: him, not he.

Check yourself. A visitor is carrying two heavy bags: how do you offer your help politely, as a question? What is wrong with She let me to use her car? How do you say that nobody repaired your bike for you — you did it with your own hands?